I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize