Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
