Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
