He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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