yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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