dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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