we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
