I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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