see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize