Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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