My sheets look like a crime scene.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We don't watch enough power rangers
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize