Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
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i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
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We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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