everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
