dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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