I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
