at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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