About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
