im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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