I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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