I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
