how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
