My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
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