whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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