i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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