I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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