Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
