He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I have post one night stand depression
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