okay pat passed out under dana's car
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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