He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
