btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
