Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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