If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
