Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
