ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
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I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
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I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
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