I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
