Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize