I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just pynch a tree in the face
he was CRYING into my vagina
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many bounce houses so little time
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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