We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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