If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
