I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
