Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
