I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
