Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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