Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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