Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
