I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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