Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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