too bad you live with your parents still
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
