I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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