We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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