Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
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Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
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You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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