At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
