so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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