i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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