I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i just google imaged poop.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize