It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
