Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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