i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
