No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Randomize
