I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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