I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
