Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
