he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
