Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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