No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
