i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Vodka?
Forever.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
