You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
