i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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