sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
