i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
