so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
