this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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